It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
