you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
