you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize