Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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