Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
