NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
