pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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