A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
