i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
