I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
