hell yes lets make some ravioli
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
