Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
