DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
