I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
you had me at cake vodka
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
