Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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