I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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