I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
