In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
