I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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