It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
