he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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