I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
