I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
