in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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