Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Too much gin, very little bucket
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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