Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
