a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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