you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
