I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
