Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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