She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
