I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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