She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
