She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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