you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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