well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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