you mean i was at the winter classic?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
