Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Its about making memories worth repressing
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
