Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
