community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
