Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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