I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
