I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize