Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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