I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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