Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
please come you make the beer taste better
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
