I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
this beer tastes like vomit already
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Randomize
