she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
