you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
