i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
50% drunk capacity currently
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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