She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
