you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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