i would punch a child for taco bell
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
