If i come over, it means nothing
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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