I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize