I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
