i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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