i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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