I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Boobs are out for the taking
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
