Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize